IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email -recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn -explain how your friend could learn this sport -suggest that you both learn this sport together Begin your letter as follows: Dear ,

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email #-recommend #-explain #-suggest
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Dear Sam, Thank you for your email. I hope you are doing great. I am sending
this
 email to you to suggest a sport that you can take up in my town. I would like to recommend
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a
yoga
 studio that has recently opened at Town Hall station. I remember that you have been having back pain for a long time so I think doing
yoga
 will help you to reduce the pain.
Also
,
this
 facility is open from 8am to 10pm
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and there are many classes that you can join throughout the day. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 there are many
instractors
Correct your spelling
instructors
 who are very friendly so you can learn how to do
yoga
 if you have never
done
Correct pronoun usage
done it
show examples
. I have visited
this
 place twice already and I love it because the place is very
accssesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 and it is easy to book as there are many classes available. I am
also
 struggling with my body pain but it got better after the
yoga
 class. I am thinking
to go
Change preposition
of going
show examples
 there regularly so we can go if we have time and learn how to maintain our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
togerther
Correct your spelling
together
. I look forward to hearing from you. Lots of love, Amy
Submitted by hiromi.1828.o on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity, make sure each paragraph addresses only one main idea. For example, you could separate the description of the yoga studio facilities and class details into different paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider proofreading for minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'instractors' instead of 'instructors,' 'accssesible' instead of 'accessible,' and 'togerther' instead of 'together'.
task achievement
You provided a complete and relevant response, addressing all parts of the task by recommending yoga, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting to do it together.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which makes the response engaging and suitable.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear structure with a good opening and closing, making it easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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