The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.

#information #favourite #pastimes #countries

The table shows various activities that

people

between 30-50 years old engage in during their free time in 8 different countries (Canada, France, England, Australia, Korea, China, USA, and Japan). These pastimes include TV, Sports, Reading, Hobbies, Music, Beach, and Sleep.

Overall

, in all 8 countries reading occupies most

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

time,

this

is followed by having hobbies, watching TV and sleeping.

First,

most readers are in Japan where 62

people

reads

Change the verb form

read

show examples

while

, 60

people

in China and Korea

also

enjoys

Correct subject-verb agreement

enjoy

show examples

reading books compared to the beach and

sleep

Wrong verb form

sleeping

show examples

with only 5

people

avarage

Correct your spelling

average

. In terms of watching TV, Australia has the highest number with 65 readers, seconded by Canada and the USA with 60 adults. When it comes to sports and music,

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

people

engage in these activities.

For example

, it is indicated that in France, England, and Japan no one does any kind of sport. But, Australia and China

participates

Change the verb form

participate

show examples

in sort events with 30 and 25

people

respectively.

On the other hand

, music is not so popular in all the countries except for the USA which has 23

people

Finally

, 20 of the England residents tend to sleep to pastime.

Submitted by deborahmmunengami on Sat Jul 29 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

193 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Case of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

Many people believe that formal 'pen and paper' examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, parents spend very little free time with their children. Why is this the case? Who affected more by this, children or parents?