The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.

#information #favourite #pastimes #countries

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The table shows various activities that

people

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between 30-50 years old engage in during their free time in 8 different countries (Canada, France, England, Australia, Korea, China, USA, and Japan). These pastimes include TV, Sports, Reading, Hobbies, Music, Beach, and Sleep.

Overall

Linking Words

, in all 8 countries reading occupies most

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people

Change noun form

people's

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time,

this

Linking Words

is followed by having hobbies, watching TV and sleeping.

First,

Linking Words

most readers are in Japan where 62

people

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reads

Change the verb form

read

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while

Linking Words

, 60

people

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in China and Korea

also

Linking Words

enjoys

Correct subject-verb agreement

enjoy

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reading books compared to the beach and

sleep

Wrong verb form

sleeping

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with only 5

people

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avarage

Correct your spelling

average

. In terms of watching TV, Australia has the highest number with 65 readers, seconded by Canada and the USA with 60 adults. When it comes to sports and music,

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

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people

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engage in these activities.

For example

Linking Words

, it is indicated that in France, England, and Japan no one does any kind of sport. But, Australia and China

participates

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participate

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in sort events with 30 and 25

people

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respectively.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, music is not so popular in all the countries except for the USA which has 23

people

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Finally

Linking Words

, 20 of the England residents tend to sleep to pastime.

Submitted by deborahmmunengami on Sat Jul 29 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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The table below give information about Favourite Pastimes in different countries.

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Should parents be obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases? Or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children?

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that sport teaches children how to compete,while others believe that children learn teamwork To what extent do you agree or disagree