IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
It is said that a certain portion of the salary that
people
 receive must be contributed to foundations. It seems to me that philanthropy should not be forced on everybody, and I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, everybody has different financial circumstances
as well as
 priorities, which restricts their budget to their own needs and desires.
This
 includes utilities that they should pay monthly,
such
 as electricity, water supply, groceries, and insurance; and even if they have excess money left, some
people
 will spend it for their leisure. A second negative factor is that individuals find it difficult to trust some charities because of scam histories.
This
 happens when there are philanthropical facilities that take advantage of
people
 and take away the donation fees for themselves, which
created
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 a notorious image for
such
 institutions.
This
 leads us to the final, and perhaps most significant drawback to philanthropic actions, which is the pressure they put on individuals to fund families who are in need. By ,
this
 we mean that if individuals feel forced and responsible to provide part of their income,
otherwise
 they will be labelled as soulless
people
. Admittedly, there are some positives to benefaction, most notably the number of adults and children who may experience stuff that they have never had before,
such
 as books, toys, proper clothing, food, etc.
Nevertheless
, it seems that for many humans, these things are outweighed by issues which can cause stress and economic burden to them.
To sum up
, the problems of financial concerns, assurance, and feeling obliged combine together to make donating
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
show examples
 and potentially difficult responsibility for many, especially when they have their priorities.
This
 is not to say that all should not give their portion of income, but it is important to do it on their own accord.
Submitted by mjdf0930 on

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task response
Address all parts of the task. Support your answer with relevant examples and details. Develop your ideas fully and give specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonably clear and coherent progression of ideas. Linking devices are used effectively, and the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Build on your logical structure to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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