Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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"After completing high school, many
students
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face a dilemma regarding their
future
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path. The debate revolves around the choice between pursuing higher
education
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at a university or college and entering the
workforce
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immediately after graduating.
This
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essay supports the view that
further
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education
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is essential and will elucidate the reasons behind
this
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stance. Undeniably, opting for
university
Correct article usage
a university
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or college
education
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significantly enhances one's chances of securing a high-paying job. Higher
education
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equips
students
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with crucial knowledge and
skills
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required for their
future
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careers.
Moreover
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,
students
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acquire essential soft
skills
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, including social
skills
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, time management, and self-discipline, which prove invaluable in their professional lives. These competencies not only facilitate
future
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career progression but
also
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lead to salary increases.
Furthermore
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,
individuals
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with higher qualifications are more likely to be sought after by potential employers.
For example
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,
individuals
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with recognized qualifications tend to earn higher incomes compared to those without
such
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credentials.
Conversely
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, there is an argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of entering the
workforce
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immediately after high school.
This
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approach is advocated based on the belief that early employment offers a unique opportunity to gain practical life experiences, fostering maturity and independence.
Additionally
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, engaging in the
workforce
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provides
individuals
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with a platform to interact with diverse
individuals
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,
thus
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enhancing their social
skills
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.
Students
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who choose
this
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path typically have more real-world experience than those pursuing higher
education
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.
Nonetheless
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, it is important to acknowledge that certain high-paying job opportunities may only be accessible to those with advanced degrees. In conclusion,
this
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essay supports the idea that
further
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education
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is a superior choice compared to entering the
workforce
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immediately following high school graduation. By pursuing higher
education
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,
students
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have the opportunity to acquire a broad range of
skills
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and qualifications that will undoubtedly contribute to their
future
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career prospects."
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical order. Make sure to use transitional words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the main points. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development and supporting evidence to strengthen the argument.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a variety of synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. This will add depth and sophistication to your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid repetitive patterns. Vary sentence lengths and types to demonstrate a strong grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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