Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

"After completing high school, many
students
face a dilemma regarding their
future
path. The debate revolves around the choice between pursuing higher
education
at a university or college and entering the
workforce
immediately after graduating.
This
essay supports the view that
further
education
is essential and will elucidate the reasons behind
this
stance. Undeniably, opting for
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
or college
education
significantly enhances one's chances of securing a high-paying job. Higher
education
equips
students
with crucial knowledge and
skills
required for their
future
careers.
Moreover
,
students
acquire essential soft
skills
, including social
skills
, time management, and self-discipline, which prove invaluable in their professional lives. These competencies not only facilitate
future
career progression but
also
lead to salary increases.
Furthermore
,
individuals
with higher qualifications are more likely to be sought after by potential employers.
For example
,
individuals
with recognized qualifications tend to earn higher incomes compared to those without
such
credentials.
Conversely
, there is an argument in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of entering the
workforce
immediately after high school.
This
approach is advocated based on the belief that early employment offers a unique opportunity to gain practical life experiences, fostering maturity and independence.
Additionally
, engaging in the
workforce
provides
individuals
with a platform to interact with diverse
individuals
,
thus
enhancing their social
skills
.
Students
who choose
this
path typically have more real-world experience than those pursuing higher
education
.
Nonetheless
, it is important to acknowledge that certain high-paying job opportunities may only be accessible to those with advanced degrees. In conclusion,
this
essay supports the idea that
further
education
is a superior choice compared to entering the
workforce
immediately following high school graduation. By pursuing higher
education
,
students
have the opportunity to acquire a broad range of
skills
and qualifications that will undoubtedly contribute to their
future
career prospects."

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the main points. However, some paragraphs could benefit from further development and supporting evidence to strengthen the argument.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a variety of synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. This will add depth and sophistication to your ideas.
grammatical range
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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