IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that
creativity
Replace the word
creative
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 subjects are
essintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 to increase
Use synonyms
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
 skills.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some individuals believe these sections
such
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 as arts, music, drama, and creative writing are more important,
also
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 it should include in
kid's
Correct article usage
a kid's
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 schedule.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic, and express my opinion.
To begin
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 with, songs
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the most critical thing in psychology,
also
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 there are many people
include
Correct pronoun usage
who include
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 in their daily
routin
Correct your spelling
routine
routines
.
In other words
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,
firstly
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 it
crucial
Add a missing verb
is crucial
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 in
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
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 to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
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 you do
a
Remove the article
apply
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hard work in
superb
Change the article
a superb
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 way,
secondly
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 sometimes we use it
for
Change preposition
apply
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relax to
study
Correct word choice
and study
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.
In addition
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,
crativity
Correct your spelling
creativity
 writing soar up their skills to think
in
Change preposition
about
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 many topics or new stories.
For instance
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, write
story
Correct article usage
a story
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 or situation that makes you excited
in
Change preposition
to
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 read it. Another point to consider, in schools we shall concern
in
Change preposition
with
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 sciences books as a min factor, and list the others like
musicianal
Correct your spelling
musicians
musician
 as a second plan. It is
also
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 possible to say that, these subjects did not make the
child
Use synonyms
 ready
in
Change preposition
for
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 adulthood it is just an assist for
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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 phase.
Moreover
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, drama increased the
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
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 skills
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
pretending
Wrong verb form
pretend
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, which means it makes the
child
Use synonyms
 sneaky and
liar
Correct article usage
a liar
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 to take what he wants, it is not necessary to put it in his
timetaple
Correct your spelling
timetable
,
also
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 it is a talent more than knowledge.
For example
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, the student did not need to do it in
his
Change the word
the
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 future, maybe if someone has a passion he could join it faculty
in
Change preposition
at
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university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no easy answers to
this
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 question.
In
Change preposition
On
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 balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that these creativity sections are beneficial ,but in
compared
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
 to other educational learning it is not, eventually I disagree.

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