IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people believe that a countries should produce food for all population eats and import food as a little as possible. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #population #import
It is a responsibility of a
nation
 to produce all
food
 which inhabitants eat there and a reduction in imports of the
food
 should be promoted. I believe that
this
 is more likely to bring many benefits for the community and country when they do
such
 a task. If
regular
Change the adjective
regularly
show examples
 eaten
food
 is produced in local areas,
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
show examples
 of starvation can be solved. Some
people
, unfortunately, are not able to buy imported
food
 owing to its high price.
This
 has led to a situation of starvation for many deprived
people
 which can be handled when authorities promote farmers to grow the crops that are eaten there which can help to reduce the price of
food
 so that everyone has access to purchase.
Additionally
,
people
, who produce their
food
 in their own
nation
, prefer to have organic farming in order to maintain their fitness level.
Consequently
, they would possess a healthy life.
Furthermore
, the less a
nation
 import
food
, the less it has to give money to
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
 to buy
food
. A
nation
's economy would be strengthened
due to
 not solely paying less to others but
also
 earning more from
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 field.
For example
, a report from the
Agriculture
 Department in Ludhiana in 2021 shows that 40% of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 has been given to
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 by farmers as taxes when they use
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
 for
agriculture
 and authorities saved 50% on imported
food
.
As a result
,
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 boosts its economy. What is more,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of unemployment is going to be decreased because many
people
 have jobs in the
agriculture
 field when it is promoted.
Hence
, the
nation
 had better produce
food
 locally. In conclusion, the production of local
food
 has a profound influence on individual and
nation
's economy as well. It has more positive points that have resulted in a number of advantages. Local
food
 should be grown up in the
nation
 where it is eaten to take its benefits.
Submitted by kk9969840 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: