In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

It is well known that a great number of Britain's elderly population opt to move to aged
care
where they are well looked after. Sometimes it is paid
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
the
government
. In my opinion,
although
families should pay for
this
care
, governments should give economic support when needed. I will argue the reasons in the ensuing paragraphs. The first reason for my view is that aged
care
is usually expensive
due to
all the spending that
this
place has,
such
as nursing, food, and suitable accommodation for old individuals who need extra
care
.
That is
why, families who are able to pay for the wellness of their loved ones, should do it without requesting financial support.
Moreover
, that would be a way to help the country and give the opportunity to the
government
to help those who are really in need. A recent survey made in Uruguay said that wealthy people are happy to pay for their own
care
instead
of being supported by the authorities. Another reason for my perspective is that leaving the chance to the
government
to pay the
care
for those who have a low income, would lead to a major well-being in society.
In addition
, everyone deserves to be looked after, and not everyone has the chance to afford
this
. In
this
way, the
government
would be helping just the people who really need to be helped. A recent article suggests that, by doing
this
, the
government
should have enough money for other things that need to be improved
such
as more health staff in public hospitals.
To sum up
, even though society's
care
is an authority responsibility, humans capable of paying for their own
care
should do it.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, consider making your examples more specific and directly related to Britain, as the prompt focuses on this context.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single clear idea. For example, your final body paragraph could be slightly more focused by separating the governmental responsibility and societal well-being into distinct points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt thoroughly by presenting a balanced viewpoint and providing reasons and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: