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Writing Samples
Band 8

Happiness is considered very important in life. 1. Why is it difficult to define? 2. What factors are important in achieving happiness?

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Happiness
Use synonyms
 is often quoted as an essential to live a fulfilling life, but some are left wondering about how to put words on
this
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 feeling and what needs to be completed to reach it. The present essay will break down how the fact that
happiness
Use synonyms
 is an abstract idea justifies a complex definition of
this
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 term, and how everyday behaviour helps reach
this
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 goal as well.
To begin
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 with, it can be a difficult concept to define because it is an abstract idea that changes from one to another. Every person is different, meaning that what brings
happiness
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 to one person may not have the same effect on another one.
For instance
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, some associate
happiness
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 with money and a good career ,
while
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 others find it in spending time with their loved ones or following dreams.
Moreover
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, the feeling is not permanent, as people's priorities change throughout their lives.
Therefore
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, there is no definition that can fully describe
this
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 feeling. Regarding the factors that contribute to it, several aspects can have a role. First of all, keeping healthy relationships with loved ones brings not only emotional but
also
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 a sense of belonging, essential for well-being.
In addition
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, having good physical and mental health allows people to enjoy everyday life and face challenges more easily.
Finally
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,
for example
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, setting and achieving personal goals, not only in work but in hobbies too, gives an individual a sense of purpose and accomplishment. In conclusion,
happiness
Use synonyms
 is difficult to define because it is a personal and constantly changing experience.
However
Linking Words
, strong relationships, good health and meaningful personal achievements are the most important factors that enable people to lead fulfilling lives.

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task response
Answer both questions in a full way. You do this well, but you can add one more clear point about what helps people get happiness.
task response
Use a more exact example. For example, give one short real-life case about work, family, or health.
task response
Some ideas are clear, but a few parts are too general. Try to explain each main point a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. To make it even better, link some ideas more smoothly inside the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small gaps in meaning, like 'brings not only emotional but also a sense of belonging'. Add the missing word so the line is fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating simple idea frames too much, such as 'First of all', 'In addition', 'Finally'. Try some other linking words too.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
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