While some people consider global warming to be more pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has more devastating impacts on our worlds. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is considered by some that global warming is a serious issue and needs to be solved immediately,
while
there are others who think that deforestation is a pressing problem. In my opinion, I consider that these two problems are serious and need to be tackled as soon as possible because they will impact the world negatively. On the one hand, many people believe that global warming is an environmental issue that needs immediate attention because it affects most countries.
In other words
, many factories have been built in most developing and developed countries, and
as a result
, the rate of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere keeps increasing. With
this
, many plants and
animals
will die because they cannot handle the weather changes.
Moreover
, in some places, namely Antarctica,
this
problem can lead to ice melt, eventually increasing the sea level and affecting the whole planet.
Hence
,
this
problem has to be solved as soon as possible;
otherwise
, everyone, including
animals
and plants, will be affected badly.
On the other hand
,
according to
some, deforestation is the most severe issue that needs to be solved as soon as possible.
This
is because many developing and developed countries cut down enormous numbers of trees in order to make buildings. Because of
this
, many
animals
will lose their habitat, and in some cases, it will lead to extinction. In Indonesia,
for example
, some farmers clear vast areas of rainforest for agriculture;
however
,
such
a practice has caused many problems for some bird species that rely on trees for nesting.
Finally
, I think both of these problems have to be given enough attention because they can affect the earth negatively. Global warming is a dilemma that can increase the world's temperature, and if it is not solved as soon as possible, the world will be hotter than before, and undoubtedly, it will result in serious issues.
For instance
, in Norway, the rate of salmon which dies before maturity has increased
due to
changes in temperature.
Similarly
, deforestation is an activity that can harm the environment.
This
is because trees not only act as a filter for the environment but
also
provide shelter to many
animals
and plants.
To sum up
, it is evident that global warming and logging are two of the environmental concerns that must be eliminated as soon as we can. If both the government and individuals worked together as a team,
this
conundrum would not get
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task response
Provide a clear opinion in the introduction to indicate your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, but consider using more transitional phrases and cohesive devices to link your ideas more explicitly.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your sentence structure and grammar are generally good, but work on using more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical forms for a higher score.

Word Count

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A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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