Many people argue that the Olympic Games have significant benefits for the host country while others believe they are a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Olympic
Games
can provide considerable
benefits
for the host country,
whereas
some people argue that
this
game wastes excessive money.
However
, In
this
essay, I debate that the
benefits
of the
Olympic
Games
outweigh the detriments, particularly in terms of the financial aspect. On the one hand, the host of the
Olympic
Games
can indeed receive comprehensive advantages.
For instance
,
tourists
are one of the primary
benefits
. With more
tourists
means that the city has a higher likelihood of stimulating
such
as traditional food sales, the uses of accommodations, and other local economic development.
Furthermore
,
this
city is more likely to increase its popularity, thereby catching more interest from
tourists
. Much financial research has indicated that Betting, Tokyo, and other hoster cities of the
Olympic
Games
had successfully raised their local economy after each
Olympic
game.
Therefore
, it is true that these
games
can present some advantages.
On the other hand
, it may need to spend a substantial amount of money to model. Inevitably, before propelling domestic economic development, governments should construct various sports infrastructures
such
as basketball, running, and swimming.
In addition
, refurbishing original buildings into sports items may cost massive financial resources and manpower.
As a result
, unsurprisingly, some individuals argue that holding the
Olympic
Games
will result in numerous financial expenses, especially for the redevelopment of local regions.
While
the
Olympic
Games
indeed need a substantial amount of money, I believe that these
games
' economic effects outweigh the expenses of modelling. Not only does the
Olympic
Games
attract more
tourists
, thereby accelerating local development but
also
it helps sportsmen obtain more income.
For instance
, in certain countries, if their players win the golden prize, their governments will pay them tremendous grants.
Accordingly
, players will pay mere attention to confronting their competition.
To sum up
,
although
Olympic
Games
may need many resources to develop. I and some people firmly think that
this
game's
benefits
outweigh the drawbacks.
Additionally
, it can provide more comprehensive financial effects.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

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task achievement
Your task response is generally good, but there are areas where you could elaborate more. For example, provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points, especially in the paragraph discussing the financial drawbacks to hosting the Olympic Games.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use transitional phrases more effectively. This will help guide the reader through your arguments and make the essay easier to follow. Also, improve the consistency of your argument; at times, it feels like you switch between points too quickly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have provided both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced discussion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • international exposure
  • long-term benefits
  • infrastructure improvements
  • national pride
  • cultural exchange
  • financial investment
  • massive debt
  • white elephants
  • underutilized structures
  • influx of tourists
  • heightened security measures
  • overcrowding
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