IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

If people could choose between working and not working, they would choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #work
The trend of unemployed status in modern individuals is a pressing concern in the present world. Nowadays, since someone has to select one thing whether having a job or not, most of them decide not to get an occupation.
This
 essay will examine both perspectives and I am partly against
this
 opinion. Indubitably, some aspects can be measured that
people
 are likely to stay jobless. Foremost, dwellers do not want to get stressed
due to
 the appearance of smart devices. To be more detailed, since the high technologies era come up with convenient daily, human is able to avoid providing their labour.
In addition
, the limitation of working age is
also
 considered youngsters
as
Correct your spelling
a
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 hurdle. In fact, young
people
 think that even if they study to get high degrees for a long time, they will retire very soon below the 60s.
As a result
, they lost their motivation to go to
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
On the other hand
, there are several reasons why
people
 have
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their own positions clearly. Primarily, it is because
due to
 the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 living cost require
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 salary to reside comfortably. In relation to
this
,
people
 who can work tend to find
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
possible jobs to maintain their lifestyles.
Moreover
, as social species that human is, if individuals do not work in business, they easily lose their social characteristics
such
 as conversation skills and understanding others. Precisely, it can detrimental effect on our community where give thick and thin. In a nutshell,
although
 there are several challenges why residents do not prefer to have a profession, I am of the view that individuals make a contract with companies to work.
Submitted by kigj95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intrinsic preference
  • liberating
  • physical activity
  • chronic diseases
  • natural light
  • job satisfaction
  • environmental connection
  • monotonous
  • dynamic
  • stimulating
  • fulfilling career
  • creativity
  • inspire
  • office politics
  • corporate structures
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