You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter, include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Dear Mr. Robert, I hope
this
email finds you in good health. I am writing
this
letter to obtain some
business
loans from your esteemed financial institutions as I have a plan to start a small
business
soon. Since the apparel industry has been growing day by day across the world, I think it is high time to start a
business
to make some profit by supplying the required materials and accessories to potential customers.
Furthermore
, to start
this
business
,
initially
, I need almost 2000000 takas as capital including the cost of a rental building, operating expenses, monthly employees' salary, etc.
Besides
,
this
amount will be considered to bear the expense relating to insurance costs.
However
, I have had a good reputation as a businessman for a long year and currently,
I
Correct word choice
and I
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have been paying
Add an article
the installment
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installment
Change the spelling
instalment
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of another loan to other banks since 2023.
Thus
, I would repay the allocated loan amount in the next 60 months with equal monthly
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
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. I hope you will assess and consider the above-mentioned loan proposal positively. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Thomas Hook
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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Tone
Ensure that your letter maintains a welcoming and polite tone throughout, as this can positively affect the reader's perception and increase the chances of a favorable response. Your letter does this well, but consider using more varied expressions of politeness and formality where appropriate.
Content
Try to provide more specific details about your business plan and how you intend to use the loan. This will not only fulfill the task requirement but also make your proposal more convincing. For instance, mention specific materials or products you plan to sell, your target market, or any preliminary market research you've conducted.
Structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider including transitional phrases between paragraphs to better link your ideas and create a smoother flow of information. Additionally, you could further organize your paragraphs by specific themes, such as one paragraph for the business idea, another for the required funds, and a third for repayment plans.
Detail
While you've mentioned an amount and a repayment time, elaborating more on your repayment plan could strengthen your proposal. Discussing potential revenue, profit estimates, or how you plan to manage cash flow could make your request more compelling and demonstrate financial acumen.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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