Some people believe that if a child commits a crime, he or she should be punished, while others think it is the child’s parent who should be punished. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that youngsters should be punished
while
others think the offspring's guardians should be sentenced. I believe, nevertheless
, parentsAdd the comma(s)
, as well as children,
as well as
children are equally responsible for this
situation due to
possible reasons and the following paragraphs will expatiate both stances with lucid examples.
To begin
with, on the one side, those who believe the juvenile should receive some punishment for doing wrong argue that it is important to hold minors accountable for their actions. Moreover
, punishment is beneficial because it teaches them about the consequences of their behaviour. Children, for example
, who are suffering from the habit of shoplifting will become the reasons for doing high-level crimes like murderers, and kidnappers, if not controlled on time. Thus
, it is necessary to give the punishments in advance to secure their future.
On the other side, a few folks think that the father or mother is responsible for the offspring's actions since they didn't focus on them while
shaping their behaviour. To explain further
, teenagers cannot make good decisions at an early age, hence
, guardians play a crucial role in supervising and providing a nurturing environment. To illustrate, parents should guide their children in advance that driving a car without a license can not be acceptable by law authorities, in addition
, it will not affect them but also
their loved ones, so, they should think before doing wrong.
To conclude
, there is a big debate about punishing juveniles or fathers or mothers to control criminal activities. A few folks believe that there should be a child penalty to teach them, whereas
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
argues
guardians should as they are not performing their duties well Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
while
raising them. However
, I believe they both should be penalised based on the crime such
as parents should be sentenced if they give a car to a minor age to drive.Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure to vary your sentence structure more to enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay is well-structured, incorporating a wider range of complex sentences can make your arguments clearer and more engaging.
Task Achievement
Try to include a more explicit thesis statement in your introduction to clearly outline your stance on the issue. While your opinion is present, making it clearer from the outset will strengthen your essay.
Task Achievement
When using examples, ensure they are specific and directly support your main points. Some of your examples were a bit general; try to use vivid, specific scenarios to make your arguments more compelling.
Task Achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by presenting both sides of the argument effectively before stating your own opinion. This approach is excellent for addressing the task requirement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, effectively framing your essay and reinforcing your viewpoints at the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've made good use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, which has helped to maintain the flow of your essay.
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