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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee.
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This
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates information on the
life
Use synonyms
cyclic
Replace the word
cycle
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 of the
honey
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bee
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. It can be clearly from the graph that during the process
honey
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bee
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 undergo 6 stages, and the
life
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 cycle takes around one month.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
initially
Linking Words
, females lay one or two
eggs
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 almost every three
days
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.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, we saw
eggs
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 by the
honey
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bee
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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hatched after a to 10
days
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that is
Linking Words
 on the 5
days
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.
However
Linking Words
, on the seven
days
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, it begins growth slightly to do on the 9
days
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 phase which was nymph month three as it grows. Eventually, prior to the maturity phase, it is begin to young adult emerges.
Then
Linking Words
, it shows the
honey
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bee
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 biggest.
To conclude
Linking Words
, we could say that from the diagram of the
honey
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bee
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, the
life
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 cycle takes 34 to 36
days
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. It began
eggs
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then
Linking Words
 it was maturity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, its
life
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of
Change preposition
apply
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undergoes six phases which was
eggs
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, hatch, grows, adult, and
finally
Linking Words
 maturity.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, honey, bee, eggs, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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