IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many schools these days have problems with poor student behavior. Why do you think these problems occur? What could be done to tackle these problems

#schools #student #behavior
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,Awful student attitude is one of
main
Add an article
the main
show examples
 issues that schools have to deal with.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,we will talk about the causes of
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 how to solve it. One of the first examples of bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is that pupils don`t respect their tutors.
additionally
Linking Words
,they usually talk back and don`t obey their teachers.As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that,school teachers may get
discourged
Correct your spelling
discouraged
 and less enthusiastic.
Consequently
Linking Words
,they might lean towards a more aggressive approach towards the students.Another
problem
Use synonyms
 is that some classmates bully
eachothers
Correct your spelling
each other
each others
. Because of that,some of the bullied ones might be sad or even get depressed. Surely,all of that will lead to a toxic learning environment. It is important to
takes
Change the verb
take
show examples
 some
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 to tackle these problems.
parents
Capitalize word
Parents
show examples
 should monitor
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 children`s
behavoir
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 from a really young age.
in addition
Linking Words
 to that,it is their responsibility to raise an individual that respects them and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Schools
also
Linking Words
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a huge part to play.they must enforce
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 list of rules.so that,each student thinks twice before committing any foul play.
Linking Words
this
Capitalize word
This
show examples
 is because he knows he will
punished
Change the verb form
be punished
punish
show examples
 or get a detention.
lastly
Linking Words
, tv channels need to be wary of their content.the reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that any shows directed to children must be filtered wisely to match their age. In conclusion, bad actions done by school students is a serious
problem
Use synonyms
 that should be dealt with ,unless
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
,schools and
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 take huge measures to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, our education system will continue to suffer leading to less qualified graduates.
Submitted by mahinour.ali on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: