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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast-food shops between 2003 and 2013.
#people #usa #fast-food #shops
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The chart visualises how often
the
Correct article usage
apply
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US citizens be at
fast-food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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and years 2003, 2002 4 2011) Speront fipa restruyants From 2003 to 2006 the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who have never eaten at a fast food restaurant has fallen by 1%, but
on the other hand
Linking Words
 during the same period the number of clients who eat fast food
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 has
also
Linking Words
 fallen to about 3% of the
population
Use synonyms
. Since 2006, no other changes have occurred in these segments of the chart. The major changes can be seen in the groups, who eat in a
fast-food
Use synonyms
 restaurant on a weekly basis (once or several times a week) and in the groups in which
people
Use synonyms
 visit the
fast-food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 once or twice a month or once a few months.
While
Linking Words
 in 2006 most of the US citizens ate at
such
Linking Words
 facilities at least once a week, in 2013 most of the
population
Use synonyms
 did so only once or twice a month. It's clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
 were most popular in 2006 and least popular in 2013.
However
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who eat in
such
Linking Words
restaurants
Use synonyms
 only a few times every year didn't change. As a whole, with the exception of
people
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 who rarely or never eat fast food and
in addition
Linking Words
, the small part of the
population
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 who eat every day, the peak of going to
fast-food
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restaurants
Use synonyms
 was reached in 2006
in contrast
Linking Words
 with 2013 when most of the
population
Use synonyms
 spent time in them only once or twice a month.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fast-food, restaurants, people, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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