IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #literature #country #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
people
Use synonyms
 have various ideas about education.
for example
Linking Words
, a group of them think that learning the Native
literature
Use synonyms
 is more crucial than the other countries'
literature
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both of them have the same value as each other owing to the fact that one of them helps young generations to expand their culture by
language
Use synonyms
 and the other ones aid them in connecting to global communities. On the one hand, the fact
that is
Linking Words
 really important is one aspect of diverse cultures is
language
Use synonyms
;
as a result
Linking Words
, when societies do not learn their
literature
Use synonyms
 really well, they do not save their traditional norms.
In other words
Linking Words
, keeping and developing our cultural identity happens when we know all dimensions of our
language
Use synonyms
 really well.
For instance
Linking Words
, Persian is the main item that keeps Iranian culture.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning other languages and
literature
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Mandeliy, English, Turkish and so on are really important for international inhabitants inasmuch as nowadays, we live in a communication era and interact with other
people
Use synonyms
 across the world and is a really essential factor for developing in various elements like industries, agriculture, the economy and so forth.
Consequently
Linking Words
, I advise young
people
Use synonyms
 , in the beginning, to know about other countries to follow globalization in the future, more easily.
To sum up
Linking Words
, native
literature
Use synonyms
 is the main item that saves cultural identity;
moreover
Linking Words
, the global
language
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 in the future to communicate comfortably with communities around the world and develop their countries.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, which can improve the clarity and depth of your argument.
task achievement
Watch out for minor inaccuracies in language use for a more polished response.
coherence
Organize your ideas slightly more logically to help transition between the points more naturally.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-constructed, framing the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear connection between ideas, particularly when discussing the importance of native versus foreign literature.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Native literature
  • Cultural identity
  • Heritage
  • Traditions
  • National pride
  • Language skills
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Engagement
  • Relatability
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Cultural awareness
  • Open-mindedness
  • Literary heritage
  • Bias
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Global community
  • Domestic vs. international literature
  • Cultural nuances
  • Sense of belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: