IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevan
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevan
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The line chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed and the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that opened in one country over
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 8-
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was a significant upward trend in
shop
Use synonyms
 closures
while
Linking Words
shop
Use synonyms
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
show examples
 underwent a slight fall over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of both is the lowest in 2015. It can be seen from
graph
Add an article
the graph
show examples
 that in the first period from 2011 to 2014, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures fluctuated marginally in the range of 6000 to 7000
stores
Use synonyms
. After, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures reached a low point with below
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed grew quickly with more
at
Change preposition
than
show examples
 5000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2016, and that
amount
Use synonyms
 remain unchanged through 2018. The graph shows that the number of new
Use synonyms
shop
Change to a plural noun
shops
show examples
 experienced a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 decline
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
4000
Change preposition
than 4000
show examples
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
Although
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
show examples
 gradually increase
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 about 6000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2014, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of new
shops
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2015. That number of new
shop
Use synonyms
remaining
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 until 2017 and continued to
decreased
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
 in 2018.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, shops, shop, stores with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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