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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days most processed food and drink contains substantial amounts of sugary substance which leads to severe health issues. I strongly agree to make these kinds of product to be expensive because,
this
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 will resist customers from buying them as it will take a heavy load on their financial budget and
also
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,
this
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 will make them rely less on
sugar
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.
Firstly
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, many scientists have proven that
sugar
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 is the biggest reason for most health-related problems. In spite of
this
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, there are
people
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 who don't hesitate on buying sugary
products
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,
due to
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 the temptation they can't resist. If
products
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 are made expensive individuals have to think twice before even purchasing them, which would lead to a moderate decline in the consumption of foods or beverages which contains
sugar
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.
Moreover
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, as expensive things tend to make an individual choices narrow
this
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 will encourage them to choose a healthy lifestyle.
In addition
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, Making these
products
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 costly will
also
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 help many obese
people
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 to combat it, as they have no other option than working out and eating healthy food. Once
people
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 steadily lose their interest in consuming
sugar
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 and fight their temptations they will ultimately stop relying on these types of food and drink.
Furthermore
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, making sugary items expensive will
also
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 promote body positivity among many fitness-oriented individuals and those
people
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 who want to achieve their dream body as well.
Likewise
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, another major benefit would be that most
people
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 can seek to excuse themselves from buying these
products
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 because it is expensive.
To conclude
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, To tackle health problems and to promote a healthy lifestyle, creating a hindrance by making sugary
products
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 expensive will eventually help most
people
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 from resisting these kinds of
products
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 and will
also
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 stop depending on high levels of
sugar
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 foods and drinks for taste.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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