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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.
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This
Linking Words
 chart looks at the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of magazines per individual in five different countries in 2003 and 2005.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
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 the prognosis has been made for 2007. The provided chart illustrates that the sales leader in 2003 was B and with a small difference goes A. C has around 45 magazines sold,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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D was sold half as many. The smallest one is E, which number is about 5.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 picture duplicates
in
Change preposition
apply
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2005 and 2007 for each country. The given illustration provides the information that the biggest consumption of paper production has country B.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest level has E.
In other words
Linking Words
, they have around 150 and 15 magazines per person respectively, so the difference is by ten times. To summarize, the increasing trend can be seen for D,
whereas
Linking Words
 A, B, and C reveal a downward. At the same time, E has a peak in 2005,
while
Linking Words
 sold papers in 2003 and 2007 are roughly the same.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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