some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

It is true that nowadays some

children

spend a lot of time every day on their smartphones. In my opinion,

this

is a negative development. There are various reasons why a range of

children

be attracted to digital

phones

Firstly

, with the development of technology, kids can use it to do anything that they want.

For example

, they can use it to search for information about their homework and different kinds of cartoon movies on the internet. What is more, if parents give them a laptop and a

phone

as a gift, unquestionable

children

would choose a

phone

this

is because smartphone compared with other digital equipment, it is smaller and easier to carry out, which means

children

can bring them anywhere and play

them

Change preposition

with them

show examples

at any time.

However

, because of almost all of their classmate has their own mobile

phones

and some students show off their

phone

to others. So, if any kids do not have it when they are talking about the topic with

phone

games or other entertainment on

phones

. The kids who do not have their own digital

phones

will feel a sense of abasement.

On the other hand

, if

children

play on their

phones

every day, it will be harmful to their eyes, and even in the future, they will be shortsighted.

Furthermore

, if they are appealed by the

phone

games, they cannot focus on the knowledge that they need to learn, they just think about how to get a higher score in these games. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of smartphones are more significant than the possible benefits.

Submitted by luo2587248214 on Mon Jul 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people opine that in order to develop a country, the government should spend their funds on science education rather than other subjects like literature and languages. While we can not deny the impact of science on the expansion of a country, other factors rather than just science are important too. Therefore, I partially agree with the above opinion.
6.5
band
You have just received a credit card statement from your bank. The statement lists a number of expensive purchases that you are sure you did not make. Write a letter to the bank manager. In the letter: • Introduce yourself. • Explain that you did not buy the items listed. • Say what you would like the bank to do to fix the problem
My name is Vitor, I am a Thai monk. l have been living in London for 3 months. As you know, I have been using a credit card for 2 months. I am writing this letter to you because l have a problem with my credit card.
7
band
With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?
The human population is exploding at an alarming rate, requiring more resources to build residential areas and factories. As a result, natural beauty venues are being diminished to accommodate human demands. This issue could be deterred by enforcing stringent punishments and robust judicial efforts. In this essay, I will also discuss the benefits of preserving these locations.
6.5
band
Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?
Since education has become a crucial part of human's lives, many argue about the pressure which is created by forcing them to have an excessive load of studying. In my point of view, I believe that the increasing of those pressures on the school and university is a good thing.
<4
band
countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This line graph displays some informaitons about the population with percentage in four Asian countries staying in cities between 1970 to 2020, and the perdictions for 2030 and 2040.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.