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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

The graph below shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.
#modes #transport #travel #work #european #city #report #university #lecturer #information
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The graph depicts the four various kinds of
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 (train,
car
Use synonyms
, tube and
bus
Use synonyms
) used to travel
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 from work in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 European city during three different years.
Overall
Linking Words
. the using of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 had significantly increased,
while
Linking Words
 the amount of
bus
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 had decreased during these 40 years. At the outset, in 1960almost 40% of commuters
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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preferred mostly a
bus
Use synonyms
;
however
Linking Words
, just 7% of people used to travel by
car
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in 2000 the roles of modes had changed their place, as the percentage of
car
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 peaked its hit (about 37%), and the number of
bus
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users
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
diminished
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 2.5 times.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of passengers who used a train and a tube as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 had seen stable changes. The percentages of commuters who took a trip or went to work
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 train did not
went
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 up more than 28%,
as well as
Linking Words
, the number of tube
users
Use synonyms
 changed
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 22% and 25%, respectively.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words car, bus, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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