IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#candidate #job #employers #qualities #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, there is a common belief that personal quality is more crucial than qualifications.
Therefore
Linking Words
, institutions are focusing on personality to recruit job seekers. I fortunately agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. The two prime benefits of personal abilities are hard
work
Use synonyms
 and teamwork.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the vital skills is to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
This
Linking Words
 capability motivates employees to
work
Use synonyms
 on themselves more to enhance their abilities. They will not surrender and will attempt again till they reach their target.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are passioned to job.
This
Linking Words
 passion will reflect on their
work
Use synonyms
 and knowledge. In his book," Working and Personality", Professor Jack Mark said that personal amenities are gifted,
thus
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 privilege is seldom. People who have
this
Linking Words
 gift should be hired because they will provide the
work
Use synonyms
 field with wide motivation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, teamwork is a prime skill that not all workers have. The collaboration between staff will increase the bond professionally.
This
Linking Words
 will generate a friendly and trustworthy atmosphere at
work
Use synonyms
, and
as a result
Linking Words
, productivity will be elevated.
According to
Linking Words
 a study conducted by Manchester University, it highlighted that seventy per cent of the success in organizations is related to the relationship between staff. They afford them a nice working area with facilities. These gave them the ability to interact more together. These relationships and interactions encourage employees to
work
Use synonyms
 more and make them satisfied. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above, I agree that personality outweighed qualifications. It is more valuable and will avenue for not only the workers and their employers.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider expanding on the reasoning behind why personal qualities are more important than qualifications and experience with additional examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the topic and provides a viewpoint, effectively discussing the importance of personal qualities.
task achievement
The main points, such as hard work and teamwork, are well-supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
There is a clearly defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, helping maintain coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: