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Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory partofhigh school programmes To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #partofhigh #school #programmes
Some thinkers have an opinion that
students
 in high school should mandatorily participate in volunteer
services
. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
 statement as
this
 work would facilitate them to learn the moral values towards society. If pupils do take part in community welfare, it brings empathy among them as they will get insights into the problems being encountered by the public every day. They try to alleviate those obstacles with their knowledge and
also
 take these matters to their parents and acquaintances.
As a result
, they feel connected towards the community.
For example
, many commerce
students
 take part in cleaning the environment by growing saplings, and making people aware of their surroundings, and ,
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 when
such
students
 become entrepreneurs in the future, they take care of corporate social responsibility and avoid unethical activities.
Nevertheless
, others have a viewpoint that educators should focus their time and energy on academic courses rather than unpaid volunteer
services
. If
students
 adopt any of
such
services
 in their day-to-day
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, these activities may create a burden on them to solve the problems of needy people,
hence
, they may ignore their studies which would adversely affect their upcoming future.
For instance
, Indian educational institutes are more focused on their academic results rather than encouraging their scholars to enrol themselves in unpaid
services
.
To conclude
, though allocating certain hours of a day to welfare activities may deviate one from his studies, the result of
such
 actions can be commendable as these will teach him to become socially accountable.
Submitted by gurjotcheema7000 on

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task response
Expand on the reasons why unpaid community service would facilitate students' learning of moral values and social responsibility.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay to include a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • civic engagement
  • empathy
  • intrinsic motivation
  • volunteerism
  • compulsory
  • divert
  • instill
  • practical life skills
  • sense of responsibility
  • community service
  • active members
  • diverse communities
  • future careers
  • work experience
  • personal freedom
  • punishment
  • learning experience
What to do next:
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