There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

"All work and no play make Jack a dull boy"

This

is a popular saying which means, individuals should

also

find time to do other fun

activities

rather than serious

activities

. I strongly disagree with the notion that states every

child

has to focus on academics than explore other

activities

they may have an

interest

Change preposition

in.

show examples

This

essay will discuss reasons why

children

need to be taught other extracurricular

activities

in school. Every parent wants their

child

to succeed in life

as a result

, they pressure them into focusing solely on academics rather than incorporating extra

activities

. Some individuals believe that people only succeed in

this

generation only when they are in professional fields,

such

as doctors, lawyers, bankers and engineers.

therefore

, parents force their

children

into studying so hard in school, so they become like them.

this

just shows that most kids are not allowed to follow their passion but that of their parents. non-academic courses enable

children

to find what they are good at doing. as a

child

develops, they tend to find

interest

in things they see and learn from their surroundings. exposing kids to extra-curricular

activities

gives them the opportunity to pick whatever they have an

interest

in. They can later in life turn these

activities

into a career for themselves. examples of non-academic

activities

to be known to have made people famous and rich are the likes of footballers, chefs, artists, and dancers.

this

shows that every

child

should be exposed to so many

activities

at a young age so they can later pick an

interest

in whatever they find suitable.

to sum up

children

should not be pressured to engage in academic subjects but

also

in extracurricular

activities

, to open their minds to explore various opportunities.

Submitted by adekemi.moyin on Mon Jul 31 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no doubt that these days animal rights have gone completely viral. So some people think that animals are used in a negative way by humans, while others believe that animals are created to serve humans. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
5
band
People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba driving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals tend to do hazardous sports, such as bungee jumping and scuba driving. It is necessary to consider that these participant should be responsible for their own lives and lifeguards are not take risk to save them. I strongly disagree with this point of view. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss my opinion more.
4
band
The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?
In the developed world, there is an upsurge of the production in the consumption goods, as a result this engender damage to the environment. In this following essay I will provide why this is happening based on my point of view as well as what should be done to solve this problem and make the better environment.
5.5
band
In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?
Evidence suggests that in the vast majority of nations the percentage of crime in cities is higher than villages. Although there are specific root causes behind this issue, effective policies can be adopted to remedy this situation.
5
band
It is an arguable topic that children should start learning the language of other country while they are in the primary school instead of secondary school. In my opinion learning a different language at folk school has more benefits than drawbacks
The first and foremost positive of this is that a child’s brain is more active at this age. They have a better grasping power and learning ability as compared to high school children. Therefore it is easy for them to understand and learn a language that is different from their mother tongue. Apart from that, if they learn foreign language properly than this will act as an extra skill in them that will help them to communicate with people outside of their country. For instance, if they know English well and opt for studying abroad in future than they will be able to exchange their ideas easily with the people of that country. In addition to that, with the ability to speak and write another language young one’s will be able to secure better jobs in the multinational companies for example, get recruited in large import and export corporations to deal with foreign clients.

Fully explain your ideas

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba driving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

It is an arguable topic that children should start learning the language of other country while they are in the primary school instead of secondary school. In my opinion learning a different language at folk school has more benefits than drawbacks