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Band 7

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others of the same age. This called ‘Peer Pressure’. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviors #situations #age #‘peer #pressure’
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Nowadays,
Peer
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Pressure
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 is an important issue in today’s world. There are some pros and cons to
this
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 situation, but I think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, youngsters influenced by
others
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 of the same age bring advantages. When they are influenced by the same generation of men, they will try hard to improve themselves. In a competitive era, many people in the same generation always contest in many fields of
life
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 and young men don’t want to be left behind. They tend to take
others
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, especially those whom they admire, as a model to learn and practice under them. So that the youth’s skills can be better and get more information about
life
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.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a survey conducted recently in the U.S. shows that which articulated that 61% of the youth were influenced by their companions
due to
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 which they had more information about their surroundings.
On the other hand
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, despite its benefits, the disadvantages of
peer
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pressure
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 far outweigh its advantages.
Firstly
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, following a competitive
life
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 with
others
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 of the same age brings excessive stress. The stress of comparing each other makes the child hard to express their emotions with
others
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 and keep that feeling inside.
This
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 makes them not relax and brings a stressful
life
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.
This
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 can cause bad behaviour in order to release emotions.
Secondly
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, the effect of
peer
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pressure
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 makes the child think more dependent.
Pressure
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 from the same-age man forces them to think and act the same as their models, which leads children to follow what they think is true.
This
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 makes them lose their independence in their actions and thinking, which leads to a
life
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 that depends on other people.
To conclude
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, I agree with people who consider that the drawbacks of
peer
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 tension outweigh the benefits of
this
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 one.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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