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Writing Samples
Band 7

the line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.

the line graph shows thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.
The provided line chart illustrates how many vehicles were stolen in four
countries
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 (Great
Britain
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, Sweden,
France
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,
Canada
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) over 9 year period, from 1990 to 1999. The units were measured per thousand.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the highest
Use synonyms
car
Correct quantifier usage
number of car
show examples
 thefts were
Great
Change preposition
in Great
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Britain
Use synonyms
 with far range compared to the other three
countries
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 throughout the given period. Regarding the largest country with
car
Use synonyms
 stealing, Great
Britain
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 started at 18,000 which had a significantly higher number than other
countries
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of thefts in Great
Britain
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 fluctuated and reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in the following 6 years at 20,000 in 1996.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
car
Use synonyms
 thefts in Great
Britain
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 experienced a steady fall to around 17,000 in 1999, it remained the largest country for cases of
car
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 thieves. In terms of the three
countries
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 with the lowest figure for thieves, namely Sweden,
France
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 and
Canada
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 which had a similar trend in the first five years, at between 5,000 and 10,000 in 1995. Even though
France
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 experienced the peak and exceeded
Canada
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 in 1991, the number of thieves in both
Canada
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 and
France
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 decreased over the end period to roughly 6,000.
However
Linking Words
, Sweden showed a rise
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 7,000 cases starting from approximately 8,000 to 15,000 in 1999.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, britain, france, canada, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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