Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Today, in a highly competitive world,
while
some believe that a sense of competition
should be encouraged in children
, others argue that instead
of competing, children
can be taught to cooperate, which helps them become useful adults. So, I believe that constructive competition
can motivate children
, which means they should also
learn to face their failures. But it is also
important to teach cooperation, which develops teamwork in people
at a young age.
Primarily, it is important that children
be encouraged to compete, as this
could help them enhance their skills
. But this
in turn should not lead them to develop rivalries with one another; they should always be taught about healthy competition
, where they should learn to face their failures. Unequivocally, only when there is competition
would people
think to nurture themselves and put in more effort to build themselves. For example
, ranking systems in schools encourage good competition
between children
, as everyone is always aiming to get the first rank.
On the other hand
, cooperation helps people
achieve anything as a team. Nevertheless
, kids should be taught to cooperate, as it teaches them various characteristics such
as adaptability, flexibility, and socializing, which can be considered survival skills
in today’s world. For instance
, good parenting will be the result of mother and father playing as a team; when they equally share their responsibilities and cooperate with one another, a child can be well-groomed.
In conclusion, although
learning to cooperate makes people
fit into any social group, constructive competition
should always be taught to kids. Only then
will they know their negatives and can put efforts into improving themselves, and they will also
build up their skills
in order to compete with other people
. Furthermore
, they can also
help grow another person's skills
.Submitted by vyshu.bakkiam on
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task achievement
Ensure that you provide examples for both views to support your argument. This will make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on developing stronger supporting examples for a more comprehensive discussion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the topic. However, consider using more formal academic language to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with a few minor errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.