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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Most school offers some type of physical education program to their students. Why it is important? Should physical education classes be required or optional?

#school #type #education #program #students #classes
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Physical
education
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 plays a crucial role in
students
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' growth and development, addressing issues like obesity and promoting
overall
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health
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. The question of whether physical
education
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 classes should be mandatory or optional has sparked a debate.
This
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 essay examines the significance of physical
education
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 and discusses the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Mandatory physical
education
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 can be instrumental in addressing sedentary lifestyles and reducing the prevalence of video game addiction among children. Engaging in sports and exercises not only enhances physical fitness but
also
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 nurtures a healthy mindset and boosts motivation.
For example
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, the World
Health
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 Organization has reported alarming rates of obesity among young people in countries like the USA, emphasizing the importance of physical
education
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 in combating
this
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health
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 concern.
On the other hand
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, enforcing physical
education
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 as a compulsory subject may have some drawbacks. Not all
students
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 may possess the same level of physical fitness or excel in sports immediately, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Furthermore
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,
students
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 with physical disabilities may face challenges in participating, potentially resulting in criticism or bullying from peers. Considering the importance of physical
education
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, an optional approach has its merits. By allowing
students
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 to choose their preferred activities, schools can foster a positive and inclusive environment.
Students
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 can explore activities that align with their interests and abilities, promoting higher engagement and participation. In conclusion, physical
education
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 is undeniably important for
students
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'
overall
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 well-being and
health
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.
While
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 mandatory physical
education
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 can effectively combat sedentary lifestyles and obesity, it may
also
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 lead to issues of self-confidence and exclusion for some
students
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. An optional approach offers the advantage of individual choice, allowing
students
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 to participate in activities they find enjoyable and comfortable. Striking a balance between mandatory and optional physical
education
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 can ensure a positive and inclusive learning environment that promotes
overall
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 student development.
Submitted by abid.srm on

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task response
Address the specific question directly and clearly in the introduction paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, and the main points are adequately supported with examples. Ensure that your ideas are logically connected throughout the essay, and use linking words to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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