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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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It is said,
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 countryside is pure and fresh but the
cities
Use synonyms
 are full of chances and development, so in
this
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 ,essay I will discuss the positive and negative since I agree
this
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is
Verb problem
has
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 a negative
impact
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. First of all, a number of
people
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 every year leave the rural and move to
cities
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 to study or
work
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 to develop their status and level of study, so
this
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is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a positive
impact
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 on the
people
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 who travel to
cities
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 to join the universities of new
work
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 to improve their goal and achieve it, or to bring a number of harvesters to improve their
work
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however
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 the moving to
cities
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 for study or
work
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 will be a good
impact
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 for personal status,
for example
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, I have left my village to join the university and pour my all income in my land to improve it, so
this
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 is good to develop the rural from the experience I got from the city.
On the other hand
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, the negative side is vivid since the
people
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 leave their
work
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 on the farm to find a place in the city, which is reflected in the
producing
Replace the word
production of
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vegetables and livestock products as well, in ,addition to creating overcrowding in the
cities
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 and increase on demand on vegetables and rural products with no
people
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 are available in the countrysides to provide them, for ,instance the
people
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 who had sold their lands to move to the city and buying a car which increases the pollution in the
cities
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 and kills the vegetation.
To sum up
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, I agree the movement to
cities
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 is reflecting a bad
impact
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 on the whole world, but in case
this
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 movement was for a short period and to reflect the modernise and technical
impact
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then
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 for sure I will vote for
this
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.
Submitted by a.3bbas on

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coherence cohesion
Add a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position on whether the movement of rural people to cities is positive or negative.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples and explanations.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and improve the clarity and coherence of your sentences.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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