IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should parents use corporal punishment to discipline their children?

There is a common belief that physical punishment has long been adopted by many
parents
Use synonyms
 whenever their kids are out of control.In my ,opinion I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view. On the one hand,
children
Use synonyms
 may get spankings and other physical punishments damaging the relationship between kids and their
parents
Use synonyms
 or caregivers.When a kid had physicality by their
parents
Use synonyms
,they will be scared of them and may rarely communicate with their
parents
Use synonyms
 as usual. heir get hurt when
parents
Use synonyms
 use corporal punishment. Physical aggression is aggression, even if it is as meaningless as spanking. Sometimes
parents
Use synonyms
 might not authority their strength and really hurt their
children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 are weaker than adults.
Hence
Linking Words
, the scion is easier to get seriously hurt.
Also
Linking Words
, sometimes
parents
Use synonyms
 punish their
children
Use synonyms
 in more violent ways than spanking. On top of that,Emotional scars are left on
children
Use synonyms
 who are disciplined with pain. Many criminals that we read about have turned out to be those who had been abused as
children
Use synonyms
. They become immune pain and to feelings for others. So what the adults do to a child when he is punishing him, physically
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 It actually helps to create a criminal,unless the adult, is in control and they are in able to punish without overdoing it.
This
Linking Words
, we know, cannot be guaranteed. Since there is no way to control
this
Linking Words
, it is best that offspring be punished in other ways. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
 should not use violent ways to teach their
children
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 may be caused bad effects on their minds.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: