IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The top priority of businesses is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#priority #businesses #money #responsibilities
Most businesses think that making money is the most important, so they don't need to be socially responsible. I disagree with the above opinion. First
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all , Sales determine the life or death of a company. So ,they are always looking to maximize profits and it gives them the motivation to create better new products .
Secondly
 , A well-developed company can help a country develop
according to
 Samsung, which accounts for a quarter of Korea's GDP. which means it has provided the Korean people with huge jobs.
However
, some for-profit companies do not pay attention to consumers, causing serious problems . it discredits that company . with many large enterprises having
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 influence on the country , they often will not care about their social responsibility . That makes society worse . In conclusion , businesses should focus on their social responsibility before thinking about how to make money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • profit maximization
  • economic development
  • Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
  • shareholders
  • moral obligation
  • reputation
  • customer loyalty
  • sustainable business models
  • accountability
  • ethical practices
  • regulations
  • consumer expectations
  • economic sustainability
  • stakeholders
  • social impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: