IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summerise #information #features #comparisons
A quick glance at 2 diagrams illustrates how Porth Harbour has experienced a reconstruction from the past to the present. By and large, the castle in the southeast has turned into a
hotel
while
 2
car
 parks in the west have remained the same as
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year. In terms of taking a look at the noteworthy data, there was a castle in the corner of
southeast
Add an article
the southeast
show examples
. Yet, it has been replaced by a
hotel
.
Likewise
, the public
beach
 next to the castle has turned into a private
beach
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
hotel
. In the west, 2
car
 parks which connected to the main road have remained the same as the previous year. In the north of the bigger
car
 park, the shower & toilet have erected
whereas
 the other one behind the smaller
car
 park hasn't touched. With regards to describing another noteworthy data, there are fishing boats in the north and marine private yachts in the south at present. In the previous year, they were opposite in order. As for the dock between
fishing
Correct article usage
the fishing
show examples
 boats and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
beach
 in the north, it has
amended
Add a missing verb
been amended
show examples
 with a new dock. Remarkably, cafes & shops have been erected next to the lifeboat which is behind the private
beach
 of
hotel
Add an article
the hotel
show examples
.
Submitted by M on

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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that all main features highlighted in the diagrams are covered in your essay. Try to include each feature or change that is evident.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence, aim to provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your comparison of the two diagrams.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making your paragraph flow more logically. Ensure that each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the main point you want to discuss.
task achievement
You selected and reported some of the main features and made relevant comparisons between the two diagrams.
coherence and cohesion
The content is generally organized in paragraphs, allowing the reader to follow the changes from past to present.
task achievement
Some specific information and changes between the two timeframes were effectively highlighted, such as the transformation from a castle to a hotel.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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