Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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In the current modern world, some

Change preposition

apply

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kids display a tendency to put a considerable amount of their daily time into working with their smartphones.

This

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essay will shed light on some causes that have led to

this

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widespread trend among new generation members and

also

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will indicate the writer’s opinion about

this

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negative development. In

this

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technology era, individuals can do a wide range of activities and work by using their cell phones and children

also

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are not exempt from

this

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trend. So, these days they can read their favourite books and novels on their digital equipment, they can play online games with their friends with these modern tools plus they can watch the movies that they like on them

while

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about 20 years ago, the previous generations had to take a part in all of the mentioned activities in the real world and they just could call other people by their mobile phones.

Therefore

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, these days the amount of time that children allocate to use their smartphones has significantly increased. From my perspective,

this

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growing trend that modern lifestyle necessitates the later generations of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

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to do it will have harmful and irreparable effects on humans’ organs’ functions and health.

For instance

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it is clear that

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when children gaze at these digital screens for a long time to do different things based on warnings of

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

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field experts that are being heard every day from dissimilar information sources, gradually their eyesight will

be deteriorated

Change to the active voice

deteriorate

have deteriorated

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To sum up

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, the kids of the technology century will intend to devote a large part of their days to utilising their smartphones

due to

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this

Correct determiner usage

the

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fact that they face a wide range of work that they can do with their phones and from my perspective

this

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dangerous habit will cause severe health problems for them in the future.

Submitted by m.v.g1371 on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many teenagers now have their smart phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

Governments should ban the violent films and television in order to decrease crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today level of stress at the work place are increasing tremendously. What are the causes? what can the problem create?

In many countries, the consumption of fast food is becoming more and more popular. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend for individuals and for society as a whole.