Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the current modern world, some

of

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids display a tendency to put a considerable amount of their daily time into working with their smartphones.

This

essay will shed light on some causes that have led to

this

widespread trend among new generation members and

also

will indicate the writer’s opinion about

this

negative development. In

this

technology era, individuals can do a wide range of activities and work by using their cell phones and children

also

are not exempt from

this

trend. So, these days they can read their favourite books and novels on their digital equipment, they can play online games with their friends with these modern tools plus they can watch the movies that they like on them

while

about 20 years ago, the previous generations had to take a part in all of the mentioned activities in the real world and they just could call other people by their mobile phones.

Therefore

, these days the amount of time that children allocate to use their smartphones has significantly increased. From my perspective,

this

growing trend that modern lifestyle necessitates the later generations of human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

to do it will have harmful and irreparable effects on humans’ organs’ functions and health.

For instance

,

it is clear that

when children gaze at these digital screens for a long time to do different things based on warnings of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

field experts that are being heard every day from dissimilar information sources, gradually their eyesight will

be deteriorated

Change to the active voice

deteriorate

have deteriorated

show examples

.

To sum up

, the kids of the technology century will intend to devote a large part of their days to utilising their smartphones

due to

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

fact that they face a wide range of work that they can do with their phones and from my perspective

this

dangerous habit will cause severe health problems for them in the future.