People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.

#people #change #colour #hair #cosmetics #jewellery #plastic #surgery #look

These days, pursuing and showing our own characteristics is encouraged in

society

. In my view, there are two reasons why

people

change their

outfits

. One is to survive in the world, and two, our

society

is easier to copy

others

Firstly

, it is the era of personal branding. There are many creative creators coming out now and similar to

others

is boring to the crowd. If you struggle to stand out from

others

, it is difficult to be famous and our outfit is the easiest way to be seen.

That is

why most popular

people

are conscious about their

outfits

like hair, face and clothes.

Hence

nowadays,

society

is craving unique personalities to survive.

Secondly

, as you can see that there are many social media coming up to watch other

people

easily.

In addition

due to

advances in technology, it is easier to search celebrities' items like jewellery than before. I think

this

made our culture mimic

others

more conveniently.

For example

, I like Jenny who is the most popular idol, and when she bleached her front hair it didn't take a long time to see her photo. And it looked so pretty to me so I bleached my hair like her.

Therefore

, as you can see from

this

example,

people

can easily change their

outfits

without thinking of it deeply these days. I'm

also

a person who changed my own outfit easily, but I don't think all of

this

trend is good for everyone. Because sometimes

this

fashion makes

people

go to the extreme. The news occasionally appears that someone did plastic surgery overly and

this

made him or her suffer side effects. Perhaps,

this

is the side effect of changing our

outfits

easily. In conclusion, pursuing and looking for our characteristics is sometimes essential in our

society

However

too much is not good for us.

Submitted by ehlight22 on Tue Aug 01 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People try to change their look by changing the colour of their hair using cosmetics, wearing jewellery or even having a plastic surgery done. Why do you think people do it? Do you think changing a look is a good thing.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?