Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, public ceremonies (
such
as national days,
festivalsm
Correct your spelling
festivals
etc.) are celebrated, respectively. Organizing these activities requires significant expenses,
as well as
, a group of people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that money spent for festivity should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
on other kinds of things which are more profitable. Personally, I disagree with it and
this
essay will discuss my point of view in the following paragraphs, including
soe
Correct your spelling
some
examples from my own experience.
Firstly
, nowadays, most people are swamped by their daily life responsibilities,
therefore
they try to make their life pretty meaningful. Undoubtedly, parties lead to
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
,
as well as
, broaden
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
horizons. To illustrate, the school where I work, almost every month organize some celebrations(including official and non-official holidays) and all school
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
(both students and teachers) participate enthusiastically. Students prepare dance programmes,
speechs
Correct your spelling
speech
speeches
and
actings
Replace the word
activities
show examples
in advance. It contributes to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
students more about
nationaliy
Correct your spelling
nationality
nationally
,
habitats
Correct word choice
and habitats
show examples
and creates a feeling
like
Change preposition
of
show examples
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
, self-esteem and independence, which is important enough rather than money.
On the other hand
, the leaders of countries spend too much money for organizing
nationals
Change the noun form
national
show examples
days or other holidays that may be harmful to the common budget. It's undeniable that some kinds of holidays cause unnecessary
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
. To exemplify, every year when spring comes,
flower
Correct article usage
a flower
show examples
festivity is organized in my country. To organize it, special kinds of flowers are cultivated or brought from overseas. Actually, the park looks like
miracle
Correct article usage
a miracle
show examples
garden,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it causes to waste millions of flowers. In a nutshell, it seems that organizing
celebration
Correct article usage
a celebration
show examples
has some adverse effects, as I have mentioned above, yet it has adorable effects on children's growth mindset.
Submitted by shabnam.aghayeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • economic boost
  • local economies
  • social cohesion
  • national unity
  • educational value
  • government spending
  • public services
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • national identity
  • community
  • tourists
  • social harmony
  • historical significance
  • younger generation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: