IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#reason #people #money
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Is it said the only reason for individuals working hard is to earn money
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I totally disagree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
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 because I believe there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
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 reasons
drive
Correct pronoun usage
that drive
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people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard
including
Change preposition
apply
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, serve society,
step
Wrong verb form
stepping
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 out
Change preposition
of the
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the
Change the word
their
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 comfort zone, and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 purpose
for
Change preposition
to
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live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I totally believe there are several reasons
drive
Correct pronoun usage
that drive
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
working
Change the verb form
work
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 hard .
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 desire to
working
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work
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 hard in
order
Use synonyms
 to contribute to society.
For example
Linking Words
, scientists
work
Use synonyms
 hard in
order
Use synonyms
 to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new drugs for serious diseases namely, cancer, heart attack, and brain stroke.
Therefore
Linking Words
, scientists
work
Use synonyms
 hard in
order
Use synonyms
 to improve
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
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 health.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 hard in
order
Use synonyms
 to step out of their comfort zone.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 hard are more likely to learn
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new experiences and skills, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 working hard is
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 to personal growth.
As a result
Linking Words
, personal growth can make
people
Use synonyms
 develop valuable skills,
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
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 problems,
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 under stress, and how
overcome
Add the particle
to overcome
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 challenges.
Finally
Linking Words
, working hard
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 purpose for
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
 will spend considerable time
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 to
order
Use synonyms
 achieve their professional goals namely, promotions,
positive
Correct word choice
and positive
show examples
 feedback from
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
show examples
.
Consequnetly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 hard
goals
Change preposition
on goals
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 are more likely to accomplish
of
Change preposition
apply
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happiness.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I completely believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
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 factor
Correct pronoun usage
that motivate
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motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard because I think
there
Correct your spelling
they're
show examples
different
Add a missing verb
are different
show examples
 reasons
drive
Correct pronoun usage
that drive
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard including, to contribute to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 ,
accomplish
Wrong verb form
accomplishing
show examples
 personal
gorwth
Correct your spelling
growth
, and to have
aim
Change the verb form
aimed
show examples
 for
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
What to do next:
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