IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that children should be taught at school to recycle materials and avoid waste. Other people believe that children should be taught this at home. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #materials #waste #home
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Today our life has hard discourse from digital devices and some people was not ready to
critical
Change the word
critically
show examples
 change
worldview
Correct article usage
the worldview
show examples
society
Change preposition
of society
show examples
, they were not ready to accept something other than what they are used to. On the first hand, influence from something is awful and it should be destroyed
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because a person must be
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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free from any habits, he is independent.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
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 to prohibit using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the phone
a phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some places grew up per
recently
Change the word
recent
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 time,
for example
Linking Words
, in the Theatre, in the Museum, in any
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 situation,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 we met every time, when getting to know someone, because it may look like
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 form like smoking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, no way to believe modern
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 without mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. All photos, all contacts, all messages, all information and still all life in the memory in
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 box, in the
phone
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, refuse from digital devices is refuse from reality and we should remember that from
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 history of our existence, humanity has evolved and that fighting with all, which have
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
show examples
 with meaning "new" is boring and
uselessly
Change the word
useless
show examples
. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
comparison
Correct article usage
a comparison
show examples
smoking
Change preposition
between smoking
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 is not correct, if we foundation on science, because passive smoking is really
term
Add an article
a term
show examples
, it can harm the health of others and only long therapy can help smokers, unlike
phone
Use synonyms
 can make
sound
Fix the agreement mistake
sounds
show examples
, which may disturb someone, but it is not habit and it may be fixed turning on
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 mode in device. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 we must seek
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between "refuse" and "acceptance",
therefore
Linking Words
 exist necessary
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 decrease
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we are spending
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 procrastination, and exist necessary
provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
show examples
 people
accept
Change preposition
with accept
show examples
 meta-reality, which
never
Add a missing verb
has never
show examples
 been
before
Add a missing verb
done before
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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