In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

Elderly

people

living in

retirement

homes

have become a norm in lots of societies.,

However

Add the comma(s)

,However

show examples

this

trend is unhealthy as elderly

people

require the love and affection of their family

members

. ,

Also

they became physically and mentally weak so they require constant supervision .

this

essay agrees with the statement that elderly

people

should not stay in

retirement

homes

. In older age, elderly

people

became physically and mentally weak. to take care of them constant supervision is required. If they stay with their families, they will get care from their family

members

Furthermore

, Families should not send them to a

retirement

home in their old age

for instance

, in India parents stay with their

children

and grandchildren. I am of the opinion that elderly

people

stay with their

children

. Elderly

people

require love and affection from their

children

. sending them to

retirement

homes

isolate them.

Moreover

, they have to stay alone At their age they require to socialise more with their friend circle. To cite an example, in Asian ,countries elderly

people

form groups to socialise and interact with their friends. I believe that elderly

people

should not be sent to a

retirement

home. In conclusion, the Elderly public should not be sent to

retirement

homes

.as they require love

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and support from their family

members

specially their

children

. Sending them to

retirement

home isolate them from their friend circle and family

members

.Elderly

people

should spend time with their families. I am of the opinion that

Instead

of that they should stay with their family

members

Submitted by yash334 on Wed Aug 02 2023

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Depicted in the flowchart of a report from the university is the process of drinking water with solar panel energy.

In companies promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiding what to atextent do you agree or disagree

some people think that men and woman have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Many people believe that international tourism has negative implications on their countries. What is the reason for it? What can be done to change the negative attitude towads international tourism?