In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

#societies #people #retirement #homes #families #care #members

Elderly

people

living in

retirement

homes

have become a norm in lots of societies.,

However

Add the comma(s)

,However

show examples

this

trend is unhealthy as elderly

people

require the love and affection of their family

members

. ,

Also

they became physically and mentally weak so they require constant supervision .

this

essay agrees with the statement that elderly

people

should not stay in

retirement

homes

. In older age, elderly

people

became physically and mentally weak. to take care of them constant supervision is required. If they stay with their families, they will get care from their family

members

Furthermore

, Families should not send them to a

retirement

home in their old age

for instance

, in India parents stay with their

children

and grandchildren. I am of the opinion that elderly

people

stay with their

children

. Elderly

people

require love and affection from their

children

. sending them to

retirement

homes

isolate them.

Moreover

, they have to stay alone At their age they require to socialise more with their friend circle. To cite an example, in Asian ,countries elderly

people

form groups to socialise and interact with their friends. I believe that elderly

people

should not be sent to a

retirement

home. In conclusion, the Elderly public should not be sent to

retirement

homes

.as they require love

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and support from their family

members

specially their

children

. Sending them to

retirement

home isolate them from their friend circle and family

members

.Elderly

people

should spend time with their families. I am of the opinion that

Instead

of that they should stay with their family

members

Submitted by yash334 on Wed Aug 02 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many societies, elderly people often live in retirement homes. This is not appropriate because families should always care for their aging members. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Cohabitation is believed to bring huge advantages for young people since it enables them to fully understand each other before deciding to get married. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some people think that it is beneficial to travel abroad, but others think it is unnecessary because we have the Internet and TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past, and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.