Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

In recent years, teaching computers and science at school has become a noticeable subject
due to
the influence of developing technology at present.
On the other hand
, the opinion that
students
should learn about
music
is
also
still supported by many
people
.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints, and I personally believe that schools ought to offer more computer science classes.
To begin
with, it is certainly true that
music
entertains the human mind. Researchers have confirmed that a life with
music
provides more satisfaction than a life without it.
Therefore
, young
people
should engage with
music
,
such
as playing the guitar or piano, during their youth.
Moreover
, the experience of playing instruments can serve as a positive influence on young
people
's hobbies in the future, as hobbies consistently have a positive effect on individuals. Having said that, schools facing a lack of subjects related to computer technology could jeopardise
students
' futures. Upon graduating from high school, individuals are inevitably required to use computers in various situations.
For instance
, when tackling assignments at university,
students
need knowledge of software like "Word" or "Excel".
Furthermore
, in
this
digital era, the majority of
people
utilise the Internet for online shopping and subscribing to various services.
Therefore
, it is crucial for
students
to receive education in internet literacy to avoid falling prey to fake emails or phishing scams. In conclusion,
while
learning
music
is undoubtedly a valuable experience for young
people
, becoming familiar with computers is a significant skill in today's contemporary times.
Submitted by songcheng619 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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