Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The state of nature has been changing rapidly over the years and it has come with its repercussions towards the environment. The number of plants and animals going extinct in the world,
for example
, is concerning and devastating, yet some people believe that there are other matters that need further
investigation. This
essay will assess how vital most species' extinction is from contrasting viewpoints.
On one hand, the loss of many kinds of contributors to the ecosystem is indeed detrimental as their roles are essential in creating natural balance. For instance
, the absence of predators, such
as cats, may result in a rising number of their prey, such
as mice, which then
may spread diseases to the city. Additionally
, cutting down trees illegally also
contributes to bigger setbacks, such
as birds losing their habitats. Moreover
, if this
type of adverse cycle keeps going, it will eventually interfere and damage the lives of many.
On the other hand
, there is an abundant amount of environmental problems that are more controllable and preventable, such
as littering. People should focus more on the significance of individuals' actions since they are able to think rationally and logically, unlike other creatures. Additionally
, our planet's deterioration due to
ndividuals
occurs faster than when it is caused by other beings. Correct your spelling
individuals
Thus
, to say that it is urgent to be prioritised is an understatement.
In conclusion, when certain flora and fauna go extinct, it will definitely cause an imbalance in nature. However
, there are other issues that should be taken into account more seriously. In my opinion, every issue regarding natural creatures deserves to not be taken for granted. Nonetheless
, I believe that we should grapple with the most ravaging problems first before moving on to the others, such
as the vanishing species.Submitted by writingielts0 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that each idea is logically connected to the last. Transitions should be smooth and contribute to the overall flow of the argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. To improve further, ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points more effectively and reflects back on the introduction, providing a rounded sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
While you have generally supported your main points, to improve, be more explicit in how your examples relate to the core argument. Furthermore, offer deeper analysis to demonstrate a better understanding of the implications of each point.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but for a higher band, work on exploring all parts of the question to the same depth. Ensure that your argument covers all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner.
task achievement
Your ideas are fairly clear, but to enhance comprehensibility, aim for precision in language and more explicit illustration of your viewpoint. Avoid ambiguities by explaining your ideas more comprehensively.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument. Your examples should directly reinforce the points being made and should be factual, detailed, and relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?