There are many people still living with their parents even when they turn 20s or 30s. Why is this happening? Is it better for young people to live with their parents?

Nowadays, many young
people
Use synonyms
choose to live in the same place with their
parents
Use synonyms
even if they have grown up.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
phenomenon and explain why I believe that it can have a negative impact on youngsters. Many
people
Use synonyms
stay at their
parents
Use synonyms
' home in their adulthood because they have intense financial pressure. With the development of technology, the number of jobs which need employees to have technical skills or
educated
Replace the word
education
show examples
certifications is increasing, which makes
people
Use synonyms
without college diplomas harder to find a job and feed themselves with salaries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property in many countries is continuously increasing, leading to the increasing cost
to find
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
accommodations no matter whether
people
Use synonyms
want to rent or purchase an apartment. Under
this
Linking Words
situation, it is reasonable for many grown-ups to choose to live with their
parents
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
the Chinese government report, the property price and the number of adults who share the same living place with their
parents
Use synonyms
are highly related to each other every year.
However
Linking Words
, from my perspective, living
together with
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
is not a wise choice and
this
Linking Words
can harm the growth of young
people
Use synonyms
in the long term.
That is
Linking Words
because
parents
Use synonyms
will naturally take care of their children even though their kids have grown up, both financially and in their daily lives, and that can make those children lack the necessary abilities to live by themselves forever.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will have insufficient knowledge about the basic methods to live independently,
such
Linking Words
as cooking or fixing pipes, making them fear to live alone, which may cause problems after the death of their
parents
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a major threat to the young generation in Japan is the loss of simple living knowledge as most of them live with their
parents
Use synonyms
for an extended period of time, which has cost a huge amount of resources for the government to take care of them if their
parents
Use synonyms
pass away. In conclusion, many individuals share the same house with their
parents
Use synonyms
in their grown-up period in the contemporary era because they have
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
show examples
financial burden on their shoulders,
while
Linking Words
in my opinion,
this
Linking Words
choice can indeed harm their
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
development by leading to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insufficient ability for them to live alone in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Well done on providing a clear position in the introduction and explaining your reasons in the body paragraphs. Make sure to link your ideas more cohesively throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task appropriately by discussing reasons for young people living with their parents and presenting your opinion. Try to strengthen the link between your examples and the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas
task achievement
Relevant examples to support your reasons

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: