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Band 6.5

In many countries, the gap between the rich and poor is getting wider. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effect might this have in future?

#countries #gap #effect #future
As a matter of fact, in today’s society, there is a huge gap that increasing between wealthy
individuals
 and economically disadvantaged
individuals
 in numerous countries.
This
 essay will explain how
this
 phenomenon could happen and its impact in the near future.
To begin
 with, Underprivileged
individuals
 do not have steady
jobs
 that can help them to earn enough salary. They are always making a living from different roles with irregular payment amounts.
Moreover
,
this
 is different from the prosperous
individuals
 that have
a good occupations
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good occupation
good occupations
show examples
 with excellent pay.
In addition
, the difference in the job field is the main issue between these two
people
.
For example
, some are working in big companies and others work as a parking guard.
Furthermore
, a social gap will be affected by
this
 situation. In the city, schools with good accreditation with high bill payments usually have many students that derive from wealthy families.
In contrast
, students who come from poor families cannot afford to study there because of the expense.
Additionally
, in a village, in terms of school payment, the school’s administration will give a variety of bills amount based on what the student's parent’s
jobs
 are.
To conclude
, the variety of
jobs
 is significantly different between poor and rich
people
. The amount of money received is based on the
jobs
 that they do.
This
 has an important role in today’s society, it can determine where and what they use, wear, eat, and study. The more
people
 get wealth the more
people
 will respect them.
Submitted by rizalestari on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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