IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
Living in modern society, some people argue that there are a multitude of choices ahead of us, which sometimes are difficult to choose. From my perspective, I am in favour of the opinion, believing that the world abounds with an overwhelming number of options. Thanks to technological improvements, human beings are able to have more chances in many fields,
such
 as education, employment, etc.
To begin
 with, air travel has not only shortened the distance of travelling but offered broader choices for the young when they seek educational or vocational opportunities.
For instance
, millions of foreign students study in the UK because of better educational resources,
instead
 of choosing local universities.
Furthermore
, the internet allows us to keep in touch with each other anytime and anywhere, thereby creating more job posts available for employees living in distant places.
As a result
, we are no longer restricted to work in local factories or enterprises
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but serve our talents worldwide.
On the other hand
,
although
 industrialization and globalisation that are driven by technological advances offer us a dramatic expansion in the number of chances, it poses a threat to human civilizations
due to
 global warming, climate change and so on. First of all, humans have less effective alternatives when it comes to protecting the Earth from deteriorating. There is only one choice for us to survive right now--save the planet.
Therefore
, we must take action immediately to reverse the trend by reducing green gas emissions, and controlling population growth, to name but a few.
In addition
, abundant choices make us difficult to choose the right one for us,
thus
 wasting a great amount of time and effort. In conclusion,
while
 we are experiencing some difficulties and challenges brought by the increasing number of chances, the modern world presents us with more alternatives and opportunities indeed, and
this
 is often more beneficial than bewildering.
Submitted by 76805977 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: