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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
 who did not
work
Use synonyms
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 in the UK in the year 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 both the graduate and postgraduate school had a maximum
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 attending
further
Linking Words
 study, and the
last
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 engage in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. A deep analysis of the bar chart provided reveals that in chart 1 in 2008 there were 29,655
students
Use synonyms
 who graduate and plan to continue study. And
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 is 17,735
students
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
unemployed is 16,236.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 the least score is voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is only about 3,500 It can be seen from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graph 2 that there are many
students
Use synonyms
 who have entered high education.
However
Linking Words
, part-time
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
 are few, 2535 people.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of unemployed is 1625 people,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
Correct your spelling
volunteers
volunters
Correct your spelling
volunteers
 is much lower than in bar chart 1,
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 345 people
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, work, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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