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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries elder people are to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

#countries #people #work #retirement #age
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As more and more nations
age
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, more and more elderly are encouraged to continue working over
retirement
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age
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. In my opinion, there are possible benefits and drawbacks of extending individual working life. On the positive side, working beyond
retirement
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age
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 can be beneficial in the following aspects.
Firstly
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, continuing
work
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 improves the elderly's financial condition. More years in the
job
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 mean more experience, which in turn means more revenue. For skilled jobs,
such
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 as doctors, engineers and professors,
people
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 approaching
retirement
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age
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 tend to have rich experience and are
also
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 in the highest income period of their career.
Furthermore
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, an elder person may find that having a
job
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 provides a sense of satisfaction.
This
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 is because
people
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 who have jobs have a sense of identity and feel they are part of society, which is necessary to maintain a good mental state. Not only that, but the active movement a
job
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 provides could help keep one’s body healthy. As physical exercise is important for everyone, especially for the elderly.
However
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, there are possible influences if
people
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work
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 after the average expected years. Obviously, it could damage their health condition. The older a human is, the more rest they need. When the elders do not get enough time to recover, it will pose a huge burden on their bodies, leading to a series of physical problems, even death. Another disadvantage is that the interpersonal relationship can be affected. After investing so many years of one’s life into a career, they deserve a life of leisure and family happiness. If they are still occupied with a
job
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, there will be less time to do what they love to do and enjoy with their family. In that case, some of them may develop a lonely lifestyle. In conclusion, there are benefits and risks to motivating old
people
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 to continue their careers. It could maintain health and acquire a sense of fulfilment, meanwhile, it could
also
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 result in more exhaustion and solitude. For those who continue to
work
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 beyond
retirement
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age
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, it may be helpful to replace manual
work
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 with mental
work
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 as much as possible.
Submitted by 365038807 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • standard of living
  • ameliorated
  • mentoring
  • physical health
  • mental decline
  • workforce diversity
  • exacerbate
  • quality of life
  • employment opportunities
  • work-life imbalance
  • ageism
  • retirement planning
  • pension funds
  • job market dynamics
  • seniority
  • compulsory retirement age
  • productive capacity
  • intergenerational collaboration
  • mentality
  • employer attitudes
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