Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.
The question of whether children’s leisure
activities
must be educational has sparked heated debate. Some regard that all events
should have their aim or purpose, while
others see entertaining events
as also
beneficial. I personally contend with the idea that leisure activities
for kids are not necessarily educational, and other events
are also
meaningful. In this
essay, I will elaborate reasons in more detail and provide my personal experience.
First of all, educational events
with certain purposes usually bring pressure and can be easily observed. When parents and educators intentionally required
students to participate in some particular Wrong verb form
require
activities
, they become unwilling to cooperate and tend to lose their motivation and curiosity on certain topics. Since, it is their nature that people hate to be forced to do something and so are youngsters, thus
, planned events
with some goals consistently backfired and ultimately killed the possibility for them.
On the other hand
, facts are
proven that non-educational Verb problem
have
events
can also
result in educational values. Playing basketball, for instance
, is seen as a mere recreational sport. However
, it is well-known that individuals who joined basketball teams have performed better leadership, negotiation skills and teamwork ability
. Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
This
is because when a team is playing to win, it grows related skills mentioned that equipped
themselves, and Wrong verb form
equip
makes
them capable of winning. Correct subject-verb agreement
make
Therefore
, we can end up learning from those events
who
Correct pronoun usage
that we
regards
as only Wrong verb form
regarded
complete
waste of time.
Regarding my personal experiences, Correct article usage
a complete
while
often seen as a recreational activity, watching America
TV shows (Correct your spelling
American
such
as Friends) has brought unthinkable positive effects on me. Indulging in beloved dramas, my English improved to the next level since I was more familiar with its pronunciation and sentence structure. Surprisingly, it was events
without a purpose that benefited me.
In conclusion, educational events
do not always reach their original goals,
and possibly Remove the comma
apply
cased
opposite outcomes. Verb problem
cause
Additionally
, entertainment can otherwise
provide valuable educational achievements. Therefore
, activities
for teens should not be detailly planned, and certainly shall
not always be educational.Verb problem
should
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant examples to support the argument. However, there is room for improvement in presenting a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the question.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task by presenting a strong argument and relevant examples. However, there is a need to ensure that all ideas are clearly developed and that the introduction and conclusion directly address the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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