People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that some

people

think we should be responsible for taking care of our own

health

as a duty to society,

whereas

others consider that maintaining our fitness is just for our own good. Personally, I believe that both criteria should be given equal consideration. On the one hand, if we underestimate the importance of having good

health

, it might create a burden on the community. To be more specific, having an unhealthy

body

might lead to a variety of diseases, and

people

need to go to the hospital for treatment which sometimes occupies a lot of social resources, especially in countries that provide great social welfare.

People

might need to pay more tax

due to

the problems mentioned above.

On the other hand

, we can get several benefits by maintaining a healthy

body

. First of all,

people

who have good

health

do not need medication and they could save a lot of money.

Secondly

, with a healthy

body

people

could be more productive at work which is definitely an essential factor in one’s career.

Last

but not least, when we talk about well-being, it is not only physical but

also

mental. Lots of research has shown the importance of our mental

health

People

with great mental

health

could live a longer and more positive life. In conclusion,

while

taking good care of one’s

health

could regard as a duty to the society where we live, it could

also

help

people

to improve their life quality. So it’s a win-win situation to maintain a healthy

body

for all of us.

Submitted by chiachen1999 on Thu Aug 03 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

More young people in the workforce change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?