Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school

It is said that all

students

should stay at

school

until the

age

eighteen

Although

staying at

school

until adulthood can bring enormous benefits, I still disagree with

this

idea for many reasons, which will be outlined in

this

essay.

To begin

with,

children

should continue to study at

school

until the

age

eighteen

does

have

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

several

certain

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

advantages.

Firstly

, there is a major group of young people, who

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

less than

eighteen

years old, have very little practical experience and have very little intention of what goals they will direct.

Consequently

, staying at

school

until mature

age

will help them have a suitable environment to develop their education and time to think about their future career path.

Moreover

, compelling candidates to stay at the institute until

eighteen

will create a better-educated future generation of people, which may assist

to reduce

Change preposition

in reducing

show examples

social problems and unemployment rates.

However

, there is the figure of drawbacks that

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

me disagree with

this

idea. It can be seen that many

children

these days do not fit in with the common education system and forcing them to remain at

school

can cause some problems.

For example

, these kinds of

students

are usually very disruptive in a classroom and

this

affects other

students

who are striving for study.

Additionally

, most

students

many

children

choose to follow careers that do not require them to continue studying in

school

past the

age

of sixteen.

For instance

, for those who wish to follow a career that requires more practical-based learning,

such

as a qualified builder, electrician, or machinery operator, it is quite unnecessary to remain at

school

until the

age

eighteen

. In conclusion,

although

there are many beneficial advantages for

children

remaining at

school

until adulthood. In my view, I personally feel that the drawbacks outweigh the positives mentioned above.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Thu Aug 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and consistent introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Provide relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Peer pressure
Desensitize
Aggressive behavior
Neglect
Abuse
Supervision
Anti-bullying measures
Societal norms
Stereotypes
Dominance
Cyberbullying
Anonymity
Digital devices
Enforcement
Cultural tolerance

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Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? 1)Tiredness 2)Dark circles

In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that what children is their behaviour. other leave the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both views and give your opinion.