IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #impact #families #individuals #society
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Fast
food
Use synonyms
 has been supplanting traditional foods in many cultures. Many people believe that the implications of
this
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 change are negative for families, people and the community. In
this
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 essay, I would argue that
this
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 phenomenon has an adverse impact on citizens as fast
food
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's increase in popularity can damage not only family relationships but
also
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 the nation's traditional
food
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 commerce. One reason for my agreement with the negative effects of spreading the fast
food
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 business over the
food
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 market is that
this
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 type of
food
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 manufacturing is in nature in contradiction with family roots.
This
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 is because dishes made in
this
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 fashion are often representing Western communities with an overwhelming desire to consume their
meals
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 as fast as possible saving time for other activities
whereas
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 in other nations consuming
meals
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 with loved ones has an invaluable importance. In these societies, dishes would be made in a way that displays care and love for family members and is often suited to each individual’s taste.
For example
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, Japanese cousins are famous for their taste and the style of cooking which the chef often spend hours in order to make it.
By contrast
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, fast foods are usually produced by the hard boiling of ingredients and are associated with a sense of industrialization.
Moreover
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, the dissemination of fast
food
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 can damage the business of serving traditional dishes. The fast
food
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 industry has had an edge over other
food
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 production businesses because of the lower primary investments required and the
overall
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 capacity of
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food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 production rate. In comparison, restaurants with traditional cuisine as their main
meals
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 largely need costly initial investment and
further
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 they cannot compete with fast
food
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 manufacturers in terms of the amount of production. Take China
for example
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, where the Fast
food
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 industry has captured all of the traditional
food
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 markets because of the financial benefits that
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 types of
meals
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 have for investors.
Hence
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, the financial benefits of the fast
food
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 industry have made it more profitable to pursue. In conclusion, I would argue that the replacement of traditional
food
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 with fast
food
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 business has negative effects on the grounds that
this
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 new trend of
food
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 consumption could be harmful to family bounding,
in addition
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 to making it harder for traditional
food
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 businesses to survive
due to
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 financial advantages of fast foods.
Submitted by sajadtorab on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impact
  • Nutritious
  • Cultural heritage
  • Identity
  • Economic implications
  • Locally sourced
  • Social cohesion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Cultural transmission
  • Convenience
  • Traditional dishes
  • Biodiversity
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